Dear Keri Hilson,

Couple things.  Firstly, please remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and though you might view yourself as a “10”- others might not so you sound a tad stupid and presumptuous (but you might not know what that means).

Secondly, anyone can look pretty with the help of a professional makeup team and ten pounds of makeup caked on their face.  Let’s see you au natural- please note I am not saying you would be ugly, it’s just a constructive suggestion. 

Thirdly, I find the fact that you want to attract the attention of “Daddy” says a lot about your father-daughter relationship.  It’s also a little creepy since you are talking about purely sexual attraction.

Fourthly, if you were really “sweet as a swisher” you wouldn’t go around telling boys that you think you’re more attractive than their girlfriends, nor would you ask those girls to ask their boyfriends who is more attractive.  Please refer to my first point if you want reinforcement of this argument.

Fifthly, and lastly, this song is not in any way, shape or form a rock so please rename it at your earliest convenience. 

It has a nice tune to it though,

The Amazon

P.S.  I don’t hate you because you’re “beautiful.”  I highly dislike you because you are a narcissistic attention… hog, to put it nicely.